When a horoscope-writing oracle hires shapeshifter August Shade to repo her magic eyeball, he knows the job is going to suck. One, he hates horoscopes. Two, he hates people that read horoscopes. Three, she hasn't even lost her eyeball... yet.

August Shade has found his niche. The cynical shapeshifter knows all too well that most relationships don't last. He also knows that after a messy breakup, most people-human or otherwise-just want two things: their stuff, and to never see their ex again. For a reasonable fee, August can help. He's a post-relationship personal effects repossession specialist. Satisfaction not guaranteed, but at least you'll have your favorite whatever back.

Vilde Tank has found her destiny. Guided by her horoscopes, the huldra hires August to reclaim an unusual book. It reveals the secret of the Zodiac's thirteenth sign, bestows its reader with the power to write their own future, and is currently in the possession of her vampire ex-lover.

Clarissa Steyer has found her calling. The oracle writes horoscopes for the local paper. Her celestial predictions help keep the world spinning. Now August is in all of her visions and the world might be coming to an end. She knows that the shapeshifter can change into a lot of things, but can he change the future?

Plagued by the oracle's horoscopes, haunted by a dark past, and grappling with his penchant for making bad decisions, the only sure thing about August's future is that it looks short.

***

An Oracle Walks into a Bar is a great read for fans of Jason Pargin (John Dies at the End), Dan Willis (Arcane Casebook), Margaret Lashley (Moth Busters), and Douglas Adams (A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).

Other titles in the series include: A Scarecrow Wins an Award and A Siren Sings Her Heart Out.

Other books by Scott Burtness include: Wisconsin Vamp, Northwoods Wolfman, and Undead Cheesehead.

• We started tracking this book on November 7, 2021.
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• Literature & FictionHumour & SatireDark Comedy
• Literature & FictionGenre FictionSatire
• Literature & FictionHumour & SatireLiterary Humour

• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
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• Print Length: 217 Pages
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